If you clicked on this post hoping I wasn’t referring to man balls then you would be wrong. I find in life that to be real you have to laugh a lot and I need visuals. Yes the #metoo movement has been front & center in this generation and women have progressed much further in the ranks but sadly its still not even or Fair. The irony of that statement is that “life is not fair” and the sooner you realize that the less time you spend pouting. To be successful in any small business you have to have a spine no matter the gender. I personally think that the thing that prevents many women from being successful is family. Before you start having a heart attack let me explain.
Women by nature have to physically bare the children – this in itself is a year long process that will leave even the most warrior like women in tears and wondering how her body has been over taken. For some its a glorious pre bonding session of ice cream and nesting and for others its 9 months of vomiting, wishing you could wake up when its all over and finally having the baby. Neither is right or wrong its genetics and how we were made-again not fair but you deal with it. Then the child must be raised and if you are doing a good job of it – you are trying to raise them with values, morals, kindness, patience and a strong work ethic. Non of this comes by itself and takes extreme work and dedication which is hard to do if your dedicated 24/7 to a business. So this here lies the problem – how do you be 150% there for your kids and family as a mom and 150% there for you business. The answer is easy you don’t and no matter how successful you are – there is always this underlying guilt of not being there enough for your children and knowing you could make the business more successful if you could concentrate on it more often. This is the dilemma – that some men but the majority do not face – so there is strike #1.
Let’s get back to the being a women in business. So in my case I was a teenager – literally – not even old enough to drink and I went to 8 banks when I bought my store to get a loan, line of credit and funding. Guess what I got – NOTHING – because the irony of all of this is in order to get any of these things you need to have established credit typically through a home loan, car loan and credit cards and of course history. This of course isn’t typical of a 19 year old so I was left with the good old – can only spend what you literally have in cash with you. I am here to tell you that it took me 6 years to qualify for a $1500 credit card through my business. I still have it hanging in a frame as my own personal victory and laughter. In reality I had some wonderful people co-sign with me on a few loans the first few years in order to buy anything.
I read somewhere in one of the amazing airport magazine likes Forbes, Entrepreneur or Money magazine that only 5% off all the businesses in the US are owned by women and even less than half of that percentage gross $500,000 or more in sales. Mind you that is gross not net which means before bills – yikes! So how then do you succeed?
OH – I’m sorry, if you were waiting for a magic unicorn or crystal ball you will be out of luck as the magic answer was time and a lot of work. Being successful means establishing a dream, a goal or a vision and working towards it every single day, all day and being relentless. Unless you are one of the lucky few who have people to bank role them it also means doing it with whatever you can scrape together and doing it slowly. In my case it also meant manual labor, late, late nights and a never ending wheel of ideas rolling around in my head to be different and stand out. Success is a relative term and can’t be quantified to one algorithm. For one person success may be having a million dollars in the bank while another person views success as being able to simple support themselves. I think the most important aspect of this word is to view it from your perspective and not allow yourself to play the comparison game. If you observe another in business it should be to cheer then on or learn something new.
Having worked in the same industry for 20+ years has given me a laundry list of things not to do and I gladly share them with people who love to call me and ask me for the magic secret to owning their own business. Many times I will point them to resources that they can investigate and come up with their own interpretation of whatever it is they are trying to accomplish. But for those few who I can tell have the hunger and the drive and are listing I say, “get a glass container and put a pair of PINK sparkly balls in them” and put them on your counter and look at them every day. I know this seems ridiculous but it is to represent something. It represents that you do not have to be a man to be firm, stand your ground and not be bullied. I don’t know why but for some reason I have found in my experience that men and women alike are more apt to be aggressive or bully a women than they are a man, and if you happen to be a young women – Lord help you. I tell them to “know themselves-they are the ones risking it all to service a group of people!” they need to know there boundaries and when to say ENOUGH in a kind yet firm way to anyone. It is a reminder that they have created polices to stand behind not get bulldozed and ultimately when they are dealing with an intense situation in their store or business that they would rather sit down and cry about then stand straighter and face it head on. As the boss you are not allowed to show weakness or break down, it is what the enemy is waiting for to pounce. So laugh if you will but go get that glitter from Micheals arts store and chuckle to yourself before you go out and attack that issue head on. You are the boss and you got there by sacrifice, hard work and dedication – don’t let some mean spirited bully take that from you.
MAM 